To My Dearest Neighbors...

To my dearest neighbors who live above me,
I'll let you in on a little secrete, I do not have a 6 am wake up call. So could you please turn your alarm down. I'm glad that you get such an early start to the day, but could you please not listen to the radio or watch tv so loud at 8 am? Some people do try to sleep past 8. Also, do you mind not laughing at all of those funny jokes so late at night? I mean, I'm always up for a good knee-slapping-joke, but could you please keep you guffawing to an inside level? That would be graciously appreciated. Here is a tip for you, do not rearrange your furniture so often. It messes up the feng shui of your room, and I cant fall asleep when you do such activities in the middle of the night. It is also not good to drag your furniture, you really should pick it up, dragging it could make really loud noises. One last thing, has your mother or father ever told you that bouncing balls is an outside activity or should be done at the gym? Since I know there is no gym or court in your room (all rooms are the same, have not been in their room) you need to take it outside. I'm only telling you this because your mother is not here so I thought I should say what she would tell you...Your not the only one living in this building, and I really hope your not loud Americans, that just makes it all the worse! If you are American, you are the reason why Europeans hate Americans, you are to loud!
Signed your neighbor from down below